the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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