You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
