how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
