did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
