I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
