is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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