He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
