she looked like the bat from fern gully.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
