i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
