Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
