If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize