Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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