I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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