Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
