Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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