giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
