ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
