dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
