Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
