I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
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I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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