So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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