omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
