Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
