You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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