I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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