Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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