Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How's work?
Spinning.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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