she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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