I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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