I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
