I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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