I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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