shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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