I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
