upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize