I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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