: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
