we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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