im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
