i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
