my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
