We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Two words: blizzard sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
