Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
