brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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