it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I believe in your delicious
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
