We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
