Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
