I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
