i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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