I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, beer. Big fan.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
