Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize